Ideas and guidance
Articles for understanding, reflection and change
Practical insights from counsellors across Aotearoa, written to help you make sense of what you are experiencing.
What type of therapy do I need?
Not sure what therapy type you need? Learn how to choose a therapist and why the relationship you have with them matters more than the approach used.
Why Am I Not With My Mum and Dad – The Question Children Carry What the Whakapapa passes on – the Children of the Wound
The continuing story of MereChildren of the WoundThis is the fourth piece in The Whakapapa of a Wound. We have followed Mere from the washing basket, through the biology of her childhood, into the relationships that replicated what she first learned about love. Now we turn toward the children.Toward the question that is the most…
I Keep Choosing the Same Person with a Different Face – Trauma Bonding
The continuing story of MereShe is in her forties now.She left the first one after seven years.She told herself she had finally chosen better. New city, new beginning, new person. She believed it completely.The second one looked nothing like the first. Different face, different voice, different reasons she fell. It took four years before she…
When Love Became a Debt – Epigenetics, Parentification, and the Weight of ‘Not Good Enough’
The Whakapapa of Not Being Good Enough – The Weeds of Anxiety – The Closing Conversation

The Whakapapa of Not Being Good Enough – The Weeds of Anxiety
Where Does Your Wanting Come From? – Tracing the Whakapapa of ‘Wants and Needs’
Do You Need It, or Do You Want It?
A Te Poutama o te Ora reflection on desire, clarity, and the wisdom of knowing yourself
Me Heke ki Mua: What To Do When You Are Stuck!!
Beginner Maramataka Guide: Understanding the Basics
When You Are Settled, the World Becomes Settled: The Universal Journey Home

Te Tūāpapa – The FoundationSteps 1-3 of Te Poutama o te Ora