Ideas and guidance
Articles for understanding, reflection and change
Practical insights from counsellors across Aotearoa, written to help you make sense of what you are experiencing.
Me and the Cave
How five years in the dark became Te Poutama Ora – and Imago Dei brought me front and centreYou may already be familiar with my life origins; thirty-five years in a corporate environment enabled me to build a lifestyle, from all intents and purposes…was successful. Then a life-changing event that turned that vision completely upside…
Loneliness the growing epidemic – Discover 10 Strategies to Curb Loneliness.
Loneliness can happen to us from time to time. Whether it is a new relationship or new job, orgetting older, there will be times when life challenges make it a bit moredifficult to navigate. Discover what loneliness is and how to manage it.
Te Ngākau Tūāhua – The Normalised Heart
When the wound became the water.There is a kind of harm that is very difficult to see.Not because it is hidden. But because it has been present so long, and so completely, that it stopped looking like harm at all. It became ordinary. It became the way things are, and for many of us, what…
Intrusive Thoughts- 3 most common types and discover why we fear having these thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts can be negative, violent or compulsive. They are often correlated with safety or risk and can be offensive and explicit. Everyone is likely to have intrusive thoughts from time to time. Most try and dismiss it and go about their day.
When you finally have a name for it – Colonisation PTSD
The healing that begins the moment you stop calling the wound “just how I am”…to “I am suffering from Colonisation PTSD”There is a suffering where you are triggered by specific acts or situations…and you really don’t know why. It is the suffering of not knowing something is wrong…but not knowing what that is…and…what am I…
Relationship Counselling: Choosing Love, above all else
Choosing love is part of who we are as human. Love is intrinsic. What is love? Why are we crazy about love? Is love just an illusion? What does it take to stay in love?
Te Māra me te Pīkao – The Garden and the Ivy
Three sentences. Three exiles. And why “just get over it” is not a garden — it’s a weed strategy.Poison ivy doesn’t announce itself.It sits quietly along the fence line, climbs where no one is looking, and waits for the right conditions. Then it releases. The strangulation isn’t sudden — it was always there. What changes…
Supporting Men For Better Mental Health
Men are often prosecuted for showing anger. This is one of the biggest barrier men had to face. While we have a lot of promotion to encourage men to show emotions, there is still an expectation that men can manage their troubled mind and carry on. We need to explore what this does to our…
The Poison Ivy You Didn’t Plant – Understanding Colonisation — why naming it changes everything
I chose the metaphor of Poison Ivy for a specific reason:There is a plant called poison ivy. Once it gets into your system, the urushiol oil it carries can take up to three days to produce a reaction. By the time the itch arrives — the rash, the inflammation, the unbearable urge to scratch —…
Infidelity, Time to Split or Stay Together?
No relationship is affair proof. In this article, we look at the concepts of infidelity and the different forms it appears to people. We also look at the impact of infidelity and how it defines the intimate relationships today.
Te Ara Iwa – Walking the Path of Nine in Rhythm with the Moon
We revisit the alignment of TPO and Te Maramataka – The Temporal SpineThere is a question I get asked when people first encounter Te Poutama Ora: why ninety days?It’s a fair question. Most wellness programmes are structured around weeks — six weeks, eight weeks, twelve. Clean numbers. Neat calendar blocks. The kind of timeframes that…
Depression – What you need to know.
Understanding depression and the impact it has on your relationship.