This attachment style test shows how you tend to handle closeness in relationships, measured on the two scales researchers use: anxiety about closeness and avoidance of it. You rate 16 short statements, then see where you sit on both scales, which of the four attachment styles fits you best, and practical things to try for that style. It takes about three minutes and needs no email.
16 statements, about three minutes. Think about your close relationships in general: a partner, past partners, or the people you are closest to. Choose how much you agree with each statement as you usually are, not as you would like to be.
Your answers stay in your browser and are not sent to us or saved. You do not need to give your name or email.
What is an attachment style?
Your attachment style is the pattern you bring to close relationships: how much you worry about losing closeness, and how comfortable you are being close to someone and relying on them. The idea began with John Bowlby’s work on how babies bond with the people who care for them. In 1987 Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver showed that adults show similar patterns with romantic partners.
Researchers now describe adult attachment on two scales rather than as fixed boxes. Attachment anxiety is worry about rejection and about whether someone will be there for you. Attachment avoidance is discomfort with emotional closeness and with depending on other people. Everyone sits somewhere on both, and the four styles are simply the four combinations of lower and higher.
The four attachment styles
| Style | Anxiety | Avoidance | What it often looks like |
|---|---|---|---|
| Secure | Lower | Lower | Comfortable with closeness and with time apart. Can ask for what they need and patch things up after an argument. |
| Anxious (preoccupied) | Higher | Lower | Wants closeness, watches closely for signs it is slipping, and needs reassurance after conflict. |
| Avoidant (dismissive) | Lower | Higher | Values independence, handles stress alone, and feels crowded when closeness gets intense. |
| Fearful-avoidant (disorganised) | Higher | Higher | Wants closeness and fears it, which can look like moving towards people and then pulling away. |
How the attachment style test works
- Choose “Start the test” above. There are 16 statements, four to a screen.
- For each one, choose how much you agree, from “Strongly disagree” to “Strongly agree”. Think about your close relationships in general, not only the one you are in now.
- Choose “See my result”. You get your position on the two scales, the style that fits best, what it tends to look like day to day, and things to try.
- Share or print your result if you want to. Your answers stay in your browser and are not sent to Counsellors New Zealand or saved; see our privacy policy for how we handle information more generally.
Reading your result
The map puts avoidance along the bottom and anxiety up the side. The dashed lines mark the middle of each scale, and the quarter your dot lands in gives your style. If your dot sits near a line, you share features of the style next door, and your result will say so.
The two scores tell you more than the label. Two people who both come out as anxious can feel very different if one is just over the line and the other is near the top. A higher score is not a flaw either. It describes where your attention goes when a relationship feels uncertain.
How accurate is this test?
Anxiety and avoidance are the best-supported way of measuring adult attachment. In 1998 Kelly Brennan, Catherine Clark and Phillip Shaver pooled most of the self-report attachment measures then in use and found they came down to these two dimensions. Their Experiences in Close Relationships questionnaire, and its 2000 revision by Chris Fraley and colleagues, are still the standard research tools.
This test is shorter, and its statements are our own, written for this page rather than taken from those questionnaires. They have not been through a formal validation study, and the cut-off between lower and higher is the middle of each scale rather than a comparison with other New Zealanders. Treat your result as something to think about and talk over, and expect it to move a little depending on which relationship you had in mind as you answered.
Can your attachment style change?
Yes. Attachment style is fairly stable, but it is not set for life in childhood. Studies that follow people over years find their attachment scores do shift, and a steady, responsive relationship tends to move people towards security. Researchers call this earned security.
Most of that change happens in ordinary moments: naming a need instead of hinting at it, saying “I need an hour, then let’s talk” instead of going silent, or checking a worry against what actually happened. Knowing your pattern helps because you can catch the reaction a few seconds earlier, and those seconds are where the choice is.
Using your result with a partner
- Compare maps, not labels. If one of you scores higher on anxiety and the other higher on avoidance, that often explains a familiar argument: one reaches for contact, the other steps back, and each move makes the other’s stronger.
- Swap what helps. Tell each other one thing that helps you feel secure, such as a text when plans change, a set time to talk, or room to think before a hard conversation.
- Add another angle. Our love languages test looks at how you each like to receive care, and the Big Five personality test covers the wider personality you bring to a relationship.
- Get help with a stuck pattern. If the same cycle keeps coming back, working on it with someone trained can speed things up. You can find a counsellor online or in person.
For more on where each style comes from, read attachment styles explained.
Questions people ask about attachment styles
Is this attachment style test free?
Yes. It is free, needs no email, and your answers are scored in your browser and not saved.
Can I have different attachment styles with different people?
Yes. Plenty of people feel secure with friends and more anxious with a partner, or relaxed with family and guarded in dating. Your general style is a kind of average. If you answer with one particular relationship in mind, you may get a different result, and that comparison can be useful in itself.
Is fearful-avoidant the same as disorganised attachment?
They are closely related. “Disorganised” comes from research on young children, and “fearful-avoidant” is the adult term from Kim Bartholomew’s four-style model. Both describe wanting closeness and fearing it at the same time.
Which attachment style is most common?
Most studies of adults find secure is the most common style and fearful-avoidant the least common. The exact proportions vary a lot between studies, depending on who was asked and how attachment was measured.
Why do anxious and avoidant people so often end up together?
Each can feel familiar to the other. The avoidant partner’s distance confirms the anxious partner’s fear, and the anxious partner’s pursuit confirms the avoidant partner’s sense of being crowded. The pairing is not doomed: once both people can see the cycle, they can agree on small changes, like a promised check-in from one and a little more breathing room from the other.